Build Your Self-Esteem – A Starter Guide to Self-Improvement

the four parts of the self concept
So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may want to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you will not even remember. Do not let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?

Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
You can not be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve ourselves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
It is okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But do not let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake: as a lesson learned.

Dart Pin #5: Negative Worldview
Look at what you are looking at. Do not wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it does not mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you will never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God would not come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”

In life, its hard to stay tough especially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battlefield, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bulletproof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bulletproof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

Meet Yourself: A User’s Guide to Building Self-Esteem: Niko Everett at TEDxYouth@BommerCanyon (video)

Niko Everett would like to introduce you to someone she thinks you should know-YOU! As the founder of Girls for Change, Niko has helped many young teens transform their communities and themselves by holding up a powerful mirror. In this engaging talk, Niko will demonstrate how anyone- from boys and girls to grown men and women can get a glimpse into their own transformational looking glass too. Inspirational and empowering. FInd out more about Niko’s work on http://nikoeverett.com

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)


Thank you for reading my post “Build Your Self-Esteem – A Starter Guide to Self-Improvement”. There are a few things not to forget.

It is what you think, about you, that creates you. We are here in this physical body to learn, all the BS that we go through is to teach us something. So, learn from all the dumb shit you do, or you will get another chance to learn. Over and over again, until you do.

God Love Us, (no matter what Gods name is to you) Being a loving God, wants to give you what you want. So rules were made, to give you what you want, you get what you think, if you didn’t want it, you would not be thinking about it.

The reason some people are able to give good advice is not because they are smarter than you, it is because they have already done a lot of stupid shit and have learned not to do it again.

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