It’s no mystery to us that when we experience fun, we feel uplifted and motivated to do things. No matter how you define fun, it’s a totally effective way of firing up your mood to give it your all every single day. Try to think about your work. When you don’t enjoy what you do, you will never experience that ever burning passion that would make you wake up each morning to get ready to go to the office. It’s basically just finding the little things that make puts a smile on your face each time. No matter how small it may be like the tie you wear to work, it’s helpful on your part to be happy with whatever it is that you do. Try out these helpful tips that would help you ease the stress and enlighten your mood: Continue reading →
Well, it’s Thanksgiving again for the Canadians, and here in Germany we have celebrated our Erntedankfest, but anytime of the year is a good time to practice an attitude of gratitude.
William James said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.“ Continue reading →
Are you stuck in life as usual, not being, doing and having what you really want, stressed because your self improvement is not going anywhere? Is your motivation suffering as you keep repeating the same experiences while your mind models what it knows best. There are ways to overcome the power of your habitual patterns and improve your attitude, self confidence and increase your happiness. Continue reading →
During certain times of the year, like holidays, it’s easy to reconnect with family. But once those times are past, you may want to gather the family together to take a walk down memory lane. Doing so can help you reconnect, remember good times past, and make new memories to cherish in the future. Continue reading →
Many of us yearn to be able to get up in front of large crowds of people and be in the spotlight. We see others around us who are at ease with being the center of attention and the respect they earn for doing so. Why is it so, and what can I do to be like these people?
Do you often feel uneasy in social settings? Do large gathering of people make you want to retreat back to the safety and solitude of your home? Do you often break out in a sweat or get nervous when at a large function? If any of these sounds familiar you probably are one of the many people who suffer from social anxiety disorder. The good news is with time, counseling and practice you can join the ranks of the hundreds of thousands of people who are breaking the habit and re-introducing themselves to social settings with ease.
Many of us yearn to be able to get up in front of large crowds of people and be in the spotlight. We see others around us who are at ease with being the center of attention and the respect they earn for doing so. Yet when it comes time for us to take the stage or be the center of attention we often feel ill or uneasy about the entire situation. While some may think of this as purely a habit that has no consequences except for our embarrassment, the truth of the matter is people who are uneasy about themselves or react badly in social gatherings tend to be passed over in life for promotions, advancement and just being a “part of the group”.
There are a number of methods and simple at-home exercises you can do to help you overcome your anxiety and re-join the crowds and social activities you may have had to give up out of fear. A number of online support groups as well as local support resources provide the information and help many people need to regain control of their fears and stare them down.
If you believe you may be suffering from this disorder start by reaching out for help either online or locally. You don’t need to be afraid of interacting with society – there are those out there who can help you.
It’s often been said “Laughter is the best medicine.” If you’re having a bad day, surround yourself with people who are having a good time, and before long your bad day will be a thing of the past. Humor is important; it’s one way to get the fun back into your life and help you feel good.
There are many benefits of having a good sense of humor and laughing each day. Laughter, when it’s shared between friends and family, can actually improve your relationship. It can also have a domino effect by being contagious. All you need is for one person to begin laughing and others will soon join in the fun. Laughing actually triggers physical changes in the body which means there are health benefits of humor as well as emotional ones.
The health benefits of humor and laughter include reducing the effects of stress, lessening the sensation of pain, and giving you a boost of energy. You can also expect to feel better emotionally after laughing, particularly if the laughs were deep, sustained belly laughs. Laughter can also boost your immune system which could keep your entire body healthier.
Some experts believe laughing can be as good for you as exercise. In fact, some experts think of laughter as jogging for the inside of the body. The good thing about laughter is that you don’t need any special equipment, don’t have to pay for classes, and it can be enjoyed anywhere. Best of all, it’s free!
Humor and laughter reduce stress. You can’t be stressed out if you’re laughing; it’s simply impossible. When you laugh the body releases endorphins which help reduce stress. It also improves your mood which can have a large part to play in how stressed you feel. Laughter relaxes your muscles and can help you remain happier for up to 45 minutes after the laughter stops.
How do you get humor back into your life if it seems to be non-existent? There are a number of things you can do.
* Start with a smile. Smiling, like laughter, is contagious. If you’re already smiling it will be much easier for you to break into laughter. Think about something pleasant or enjoyable. Then when something does or says something silly or funny, you’ll be laughing with them before you know it.
Almost everyone have heard the hit single ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ by Bobby McFerrin. The song has a very catchy way of conveying its message of being happy to everyone. Bobby Mcferiin’s simple message surely made a lot of people by telling them not to worry.
Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful, and is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Stress is linked to top causes of death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.
One of the better things ever said is – ‘The only thing in life that will always remain the same is change’, and in our life we have the power to make the necessary changes if we want to. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation we can always find solace in the knowledge that it too would change.
Social networks or relationships are essential to happiness. People are different, accept people for who or what they are, avoid clashes, constant arguments, and let go of all kinds of resentments. If arguments seem unavoidable still try and make an effort to understand the situation and you might just get along with well with
Happiness is actually found in everyone, increasing it is a way to make a life more wonderful and also more healthy.
To be happy is relatively easy, just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be happy.
Little Things You Can Do
Being grateful is a great attitude. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing you your mails, thank the policeman for making your place safe and thank God for being alive.
News is stressful. Get less of it. Some people just can’t start their day without their daily dose of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting the day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do.
A religious connection is also recommended. Being part of a religious group with its singing, sacraments, chanting, prayers and meditations foster inner peace.
Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.
Laugh and laugh heartily everyday. Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say -‘Laughter is the best medicine’.
Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger of frustrations, this is bad for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury or hurt to anyone.
Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of being competent in finishing our tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us, they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time.
Learning is a joyful exercise. Try and learn something new everyday. Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us more opportunities in the future.
Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive.
Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.
These are the few simple things you can do everyday to be happy.
You actually make the choice to be happy or not. And always remember the quote from Abraham Lincoln, he says that, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
It might take a little coffee or probably a few rounds of beer or any other booze you could get your hands on when it comes to relaxing after a hard day’s work. Well, yeah I’m guilty about that one as well, unless I’m caught dead wearing a lampshade over my head after a few rounds of vodka… half-naked! Okay, bad example and I apologize to everyone reading this after getting nightmares about me in that state of drunken stupor.
Just don’t ask how it happened, please.
But what’s really interesting is that how do people go through the usual part of life when faced with vein-popping stress? I mean, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the good things and it actually works. Is there room for the intellectual side of people who can actually smell the roses-in-a-can while on the move? It kind of had me thinking that there really must be something in this ‘mind-over-matter’ thing.
Humor is indeed the best medicine there is whenever you are. I mean anyone can pay good money to listen to a comedian just to make you wet your pants after laughing so hard. Despite of what’s been happening, and to those who has gone though the ordeal, it’s better to just laugh while facing the troubles with a clear mind than anger with a clouded vision. One of my favorite celebrities of all time may have to be Woody Allen. Now this is one guy who gives you the in-your-face bluntness that he pulls out with gusto, even without even trying. You can talk just about anything with a man, and he’s bound to mock the subject and you’ll end up laughing rather than being upset about it.
Woody Allen has this to say:
1. “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.” It sounds good to me, I mean the practicality of all things does involve money but it doesn’t have to take an arm and a leg to get it.
2. “I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.” ‘Nuff said.
3. “There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?” This happens to be one of the classic ones. I mean the issue about life’s little problems isn’t all that bad, until ‘he’ shows up.
Sure, relationships can get complicated, or does have its complications that probably any author about relationships is bound to discover it soon. We follow what our heart desires, unless you’re talking about the heart as in the heart that pump blood throughout your body.
4. “Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.” And if you want more, just keep on asking!
5. “A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.” It sounds, ‘practical’, I think.
And when it comes to everyday life, he really knows how to make the best out of every possible scenario, and it doesn’t involve a lawsuit if he strikes a nerve.
6. “Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.” I never had a boat in my bathtub before. Just staring at it while soaking in hot water makes me seasick already.
7. “I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” If it rains, it pours.
8. “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” It could get worse when you’re guzzling on beer… or mouthwash, and it happened to me once!
9. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” At least he doesn’t smite us with lightning, and I’m thankful for that.
And despite of what may happen to all of us in the next ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I guess we all have to see things in a different kind of light and not just perspective. I can’t seem to imagine life without any piece of wisdom that could guide us. Whether we’re religious or not, it takes more courage to accept your fears and learn how to deal with them is all that matters when it comes to even just getting along.
And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by… however, whenever, and wherever we may be.
10. “The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.”
It’s no mystery to us that when we experience fun, we feel uplifted and motivated to do things. No matter how you define fun, it’s a totally effective way of firing up your mood to give it your all every single day. Try to think about your work. When you don’t enjoy what you do, you will never experience that ever burning passion that would make you wake up each morning to get ready to go to the office. It’s basically just finding the little things that make puts a smile on your face each time. No matter how small it may be like the tie you wear to work, it’s helpful on your part to be happy with whatever it is that you do. Try out these helpful tips that would help you ease the stress and enlighten your mood:
Wear That Beautiful Smile!
It may seem overrated but smiling can make the difference between a whole day of being happy or feeling really heavy deep inside. Try to smile and you’ll notice a lot of difference. Smiling too is like disease (minus all the pain and agony though) as it is contagious to almost everyone around you and almost nobody is immune to it. Try it out! Maybe next time you’ll earn yourself a new friend. Have fun, be happy and don’t forget that smile!
Make Every Day A Challenging Game
Challenge yourself to the things that you do. Be that person who always seems to be optimistic no matter how huge the odds may be. Add a little spice to your day by achieving more than what you did yesterday. A little healthy challenge goes a long way and it can also improve your daily working pattern. Pushing yourself just a little bit each time makes you a better player than the others. Try to do it more often at the office and you might have your boss notice your good work and give you a raise!
Don’t Treat Work as Work
Some people said, “If you enjoy what you do, you never have to work a single day in your life” and this can also happen to you. Although this may not apply to everyone who’s got some very demanding work but for the rest, this can be easily applied. Work, profession, and career can all be made fun. Indulge yourself with the things that pleases you and make you happy. Motivation normally comes when you are happy with the things you have, the people around you, your job, and the little things that make life worth living. Take the time to appreciate these things and enjoy!
RSA Animate – Drive: The surprising truth about what motivates us (video)
This lively RSA Animate, adapted from Dan Pink’s talk at the RSA, illustrates the hidden truths behind what really motivates us at home and in the workplace.
So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may want to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.
Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you will not even remember. Do not let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?
Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.
Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.
Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
You can not be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve ourselves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.
Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
It is okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But do not let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake: as a lesson learned.
Dart Pin #5: Negative Worldview
Look at what you are looking at. Do not wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.
Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it does not mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you will never have to encounter the same mistakes.
Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God would not come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”
In life, its hard to stay tough especially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battlefield, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bulletproof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bulletproof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.
Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.
Meet Yourself: A User’s Guide to Building Self-Esteem: Niko Everett at TEDxYouth@BommerCanyon (video)
Niko Everett would like to introduce you to someone she thinks you should know-YOU! As the founder of Girls for Change, Niko has helped many young teens transform their communities and themselves by holding up a powerful mirror. In this engaging talk, Niko will demonstrate how anyone- from boys and girls to grown men and women can get a glimpse into their own transformational looking glass too. Inspirational and empowering. FInd out more about Niko’s work on http://nikoeverett.com
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
Thank you for reading my post “Build Your Self-Esteem – A Starter Guide to Self-Improvement”. There are a few things not to forget.
It is what you think, about you, that creates you. We are here in this physical body to learn, all the BS that we go through is to teach us something. So, learn from all the dumb shit you do, or you will get another chance to learn. Over and over again, until you do.
God Love Us, (no matter what Gods name is to you) Being a loving God, wants to give you what you want. So rules were made, to give you what you want, you get what you think, if you didn’t want it, you would not be thinking about it.
The reason some people are able to give good advice is not because they are smarter than you, it is because they have already done a lot of stupid shit and have learned not to do it again.
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